think about it.

So I sat home today and just cryed and cryed and cryed, because me and my mother got into another fight.
Ugh I really do hate her, everyone knows accept her, which is sad really. I ca't stand being around her. Butwhatever that topic is over and done with.
But my dad called me, cause i called him, and asked what was wrong and i told him the whole story of the fight that me and my mother had. and i told him how my mom once said
"She said that you don't want me because I don't fit your lifestyle."
and he said.
"Well you fit my lifestyle more then you do theirs now don't you?" i agreed what can i say.my dad is a very busy man but i love him to death. He is someone that i very very much respect. He said that after he gets out of this slump with this guy's truck then he will take care of me.
FINALLY
my step-father, ha! what a joke he's a douche. he is a druggie/asshole.
that's all im gonna write about him.
My step mother is insanely scary skinny, i love her though.she is a great person and shes lik a mother/sister/friend to me andim greatful to know her.

My friends,are probably the most amazing people in my life they really do keep me going at times when i feel run down.
There's this kid Andrew, yeah for somereason i call him my best friend, idk why.
but he is, cause no matter how big or small the problem he is there for me and he is the onlyguy in my life next to my dad that i can count on.

My one Problem inlife is that, i care to much about love. and I'm afraid I'll never find it.
It's my fear. I push people away. Andrews the only one that knows that dueto the fact that we went out twice.
But I never tell anyone why i push them away, i push them away because I don;t want them to know what they are getting theirselves into, i dont want them to know how much i care for them and how much romance or feelings i hold for them. I'm kind of afraid to be happy, because i know that it wont last as long as i want it to.
My heart is filled with so much feeling that sometimes, it hurts a lot to have someone take those feelings and not use them. And then when i dont share my feelings people say that i dont care, its not that i dont care i just never find the right person to care about them. I can always write down the perfect love story, buti get mad cause i never can fulfill it, and even though im still young and have so much time to find someone, i just want to say, im not looking for now and forever, i just want here and now.

im single now, but thats okay really, ill find someone eventually.
It's all good.

idk but thats it really nothing special.
till tomorrow<3